In the relentless modern Hollywood machine, nothing is safe. Not even Christmas. As it consumes IP after IP and turns them into generic action blockbusters, now it seems even holidays will be consumed and turned into superhero punch-tests, as with the case with Red One.
Red One stars some of the usual blockbuster suspects: Chris Evans and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson. Evans plays an apparently highly skilled tracker despite never actually being shown to track any other people prior to the plot starting. Johnson stars as a tall muscular… something. Maybe an elf. This vagueness is one of many in the script written with such a laziness it’s hard to believe. They must pair up to rescue Santa, who is captured by a witch ahead of Christmas.
The film is played with such a straight-faced nature that it almost feels like total parody. The entire story and premise are ridiculous, of course, and might have worked if played with wry humor and a sense of irony. Jake Kasdan seems like a director who might be able to capture that. Instead, the film takes itself highly seriously, which only highlights how terribly written it is.
The film is replete with plot holes, shallowly developed characters, and horrible special effects. Red One is insulting in just how little regard it seems to hold its audience. It delivers cursory recitations of familiar Christmas themes of finding holiday spirit and joy, but such ideas are so superficially developed amidst all the action scenes that it ironically feels like the very cheap commercialization it tries to decry.
Nor does the action make up for the shortcomings. The bland CGI and uninspired blocking and set pieces are as depthless as the rest of the venture. Red One has a few moments of levity here and there, such as Krampus slapping The Rock across a room, but most of the humor is entirely unintentional.
It’s hard to say its not entertaining, though, because of how simplistic it is. Red One gets so silly and dumb that one can’t help but laugh at the audacity of some of its choices. From swole Santa, to Lucy Liu‘s serious monologue about her mythological monster organization, and The Rock’s generic delivery of all sorts of silly lines, Red One does keep you smiling.
Unfortunately, it is only ironically that Red One can be praised. When a film is so transparent in its lack of effort, its hard to want to give it praise for anything. There may be tiny redeeming qualities here and there. But the execution is so poor, you won’t want to believe in Santa after seeing it. And that’s an absolute crime when you have a guy as talented and charismatic as J.K. Simmons in the red suit.
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